Sometimes A Man’s Gotta Do What A Man’s Gotta Do
I blew it with my son and I knew it! His hurt feelings were all my fault and I could not shake the need to make things right…
Here’s the story.
There are times when my gut just tells me I need to do or say something, and I won’t be able to run the day on all cylinders until I do. Such instances usually fall into the apology arena.
Sometimes they stretch me right to the gills and I swear that what I am feeling is cruel and inhumane treatment. But then, after I make good on what my gut (or heart) has told me to do, life is brighter, better and more the way it should be. No pain no gain my coach always said.
So here I go, again…
I have been sulking around my home office all morning because I woke up knowing what I need to do today above all else, and I haven’t done it yet. Oh sure, I had my usual quiet time in my favorite chair. Even read my Bible a bit to help start the day right. But I couldn’t concentrate because I have unfinished business to tend to. And I can’t do it until 2:45 this afternoon.
I need to apologize to my 12 year old son, Tanner.
I coach his 5&6 grade basketball team. Actually, his mother and I coach together. Anyway, last night we were two players short so I had to scrimmage with the little boogers. Not bragging or anything, but my son is the best player on our team. If you could see us play you would realize that such a distinction is not saying much! We stink to put it bluntly. But Tanner actually is a good point guard in his own right. And he needed to be pushed a little.
So good ol’ Dad decided to guard him. And then good ol’ Dad got a little too competitive. And then young son muttered under his breath, “This is stupid.” And Dad heard son’s comment. And Dad took exception. So Dad tried even harder. And son got even more frustrated. And, And, And… you get the picture.
It was not a fun ride home, and Tanner wouldn’t hug me before bed last night after practice.
And it hurt me to be honest. But you know what? I had it coming. Was he right to be disrespectful or shun my saying good night? Of course not. But I had provoked him to it. I made him look foolish in front of his teammates and friends. And I was wrong. I went WAY too far. Oh sure, I rationalized my over the top actions and attitude by saying how I needed to push him to get him ready for the end of the year All Star tournament. But that was a bunch of crap. I knew it and he knew it.
I didn’t like Tanner calling how I was running practice stupid. I let a 12 year old kid get under my skin. And not only am I embarrassed from it all, I am ticked at myself for being an immature jerk towards my own kid.
So when I finish this article…
I am jumping on the treadmill for a few miles, hitting the shower, and then going to pick up my boy from school. I am going to take him to our favorite little cafe in town for a snack, and I am gonna break the silence and “eat a little crow.”
Tan doesn’t know it yet, but he is gonna get a huge life lesson today. He is going to see his father ask forgiveness. And I pray it plants a seed and memory in him to follow suit when he “blows it” some day just like his old man did last night.
Let the adventures continue!
Til’ next time, keep it real!
The Other Dave
~ About Dave Fleet ~
Dave Fleet is the Author of the book F.A.M.I.L.Y. – Forget About Me I Love You – The Fight to Be an Unconditional Man. Dave is a guy’s guy. He enjoys sports, the outdoors, music, long walks on the beach with his wife, and being a dad. His passion is helping men unlock the fight within them to be unconditionally dedicated and deliberate in all they do. He lives in upstate New York with his wife and children.